This morning I read Butch Dalisay's article in Star. In his discussion of how often he upgrades his techie gadgets, he introduced one very relevant word.
Upgraditis -- the mind-numbing, toe-curling urge to get something newer and snazzier than what you already have, even if what you already have seems to be working perfectly and has served you as faithyfully as St. Bernard in the wintry Alps.
I was really affected by the article. Not that I'm techie; it's the idea that I can relate to. Let me modify the definition a bit. Mine goes like...
Upgraditis -- the mind-numbing, toe-curling, insomiac-turning, pimple-mass producing urge to get something/someone newer and snazzier than what you used to have, especially when what you used to have didn't seem to be working perfectly and had served you rather unfaithfully as Polgas in Pugad Baboy.
Perhaps you now know where this is leading. Friends, I won't even ask you to bear with my mushy musings. I know you know it attacks every once in a while. And the consciousness is a rather positive sign, isn't it?
Butch Dalisay says his upgraditis afflicts him every 18 months for laptops and evry 12 months for cell phones. I really wish my upgraditis attacks just that often. But it doesn't.
Looking back, I guess I've been sick with it since time immemorial. When I first became aware that my family is so much different from the typical, ordinary family, I wanted to upgrade. When my mom started enjoying night-outs and frequent social-drinking engagements, I wanted to upgrade. When I first experienced how it is to be taken for granted and betrayed by a friend back in high school, i wanted to upgrade. When I took the course that I thought was the perfect one for me but turned out to be unenjoyable, I chose to upgrade. When my first boyfriend showed psycho tendencies, I chose to upgrade. When my friends didn't seem to be how they should be by the mere essence of the label, I chose to upgrade. Even in religion, I didn't stop searching for the better option because I wanted to upgrade. When I got pregnant, I decided to get married because I wanted to upgrade. When my so-called husband turned out to be an ultra dense PS addict, I made a decision because I want to upgrade my life.
You see, the upgrading doesn't come only when there's a new mini version of some gadgets or when MAC or Windows come out with a new product. My upgraditis afflicts me every single day of my life at every single point when I notice how messed up I have become since I first became aware that there are upgrades. I saw other families, other lives and other situations that clearly shows life could be better and more wonderful because others enjoy such. Yeah, I guess it's more of the consciousness of the "downgrades". Looking at dad's life, I think he downgraded himself too much, and with mom covering up for him in front of the whole nation, i honestly believe she has downgraded. I myself have downgraded a lot of times; peculiarly at those times when I thought I was upgrading, I actually downgraded.
My current upgraditis reached the level when all i want now is to upgrade everything. Critical condition, i guess. Level 3. I want an upgrade in my career, my lifestyle, my artistic endeavors, motherhood, and romance.
Sometimes I catch myself looking at men like little pieces of gadgets for sale. I check their features, their parts, their capabilities, their look, the material they're made of, their price, the number and kind of people who owned them or something similar, the resolution, the battery life, the accessories that they come with, their applications, etc. etc. I meticulously go over the brochures and catalogues because I want to be sure to get an upgrade.
Well.. besides the uneasy "mind-numbing, toe-curling" urge, I see that at this point in my life upgraditis helps. My upgraditis helps me set better standards in life. For instance, as I decide on which school I shall send Maya to, I check every single detail just to be sure my precious cherub will get better education than I did. For Maya I want to be 100 percent sure I choose an upgrade. Even in the way i relate with my friends now, I am more careful because I want my friends to have an upgraded Avie as a friend, as much as I want to keep better, upgraded friends.
I guess it's more of how you can control upgraditis rather than how to cure it. I feel restless most of the time in that chingytweengie feeling to upgrade my whole life, but then I've learned how to focus my thoughts on what could be immediately attended to in that whole project to upgrade.
Focus. Self-control. Thorough and practical thinking. Rationality. Maturity. Patience. Those are the supplements we need to take to be able to bear the uncurable disease. I feel bad for those people who run for refuge to just anything or anyone when failure haunts. I hope they'd be able to get the hang of upgraditis rather than settling for anything and anyone, be them downgrades. I also hope people won't succumb to the urge at the expense of their future or their sanity, in the end downgrading themselves.
Really, if upgraditis works like how it does in me right now, I'd pray that it's viral just so I can get everyone I know and meet infected by it.
No comments:
Post a Comment