We had an early meeting this morning with a partner. The agenda was a hotel development project in Palawan. I've already accepted the fact that the nicer islands in the Philippines are about to become tourist spots for foreigners to enjoy and I've thrown my principles out the window at that. I 've already, slowly, given up to the very fact culture and heritage get really touristic nowadays. And I thought that was the end of the compromise. But surprise... just felt my lifetime principles dying in the wind.
The partners decided to join a project sponsored by EU which funds deserving Asian projects related to tourism and commerce. They were all set to submit the requirements by March, only to find out that the sponsoring entity only entertains non-profit organizations. Struck by the need, now off they form an NGO on tourism and commerce. One partner immediately threw calls to friends to announce a call for membership for the NGO that will serve "as a vehicle for the profitable investment project". Everyone expressed commitment. What they didn't know was I was there, taking notes of everything, every idea they lay down. The conference room, the executive chairs, the long glass table, the paintings, the laptop computers, the coffee cups and the innocent sheets of paper are all witnesses to greatest concealment of the year, all witnesses to the connivance of corporate people hiding their way through. I was there. I was also a witness. But I'm not a chair, nor a table, nor a painting, nor a pen. What they didn't know was I have a heart, a thinking mind, and sheer commitment to culture and social sincerity. What they didn't know was, I am not as naive to be able to be guiled by wonderful rhetorics.

I miss art. I miss culture. I miss being a filipino in full and not being caught in between it and the need to earn enough centavos to survive.